Just give me a reason
by Quintessence88
Summary: "Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough, just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again. It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts, we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again" All Olivia/Fitz moments on the words of "Just give me a reason" by Pink


**Hi guys, this is my first fan fiction on Olivia and Fitz so please forgive me any possible mistakes because my "beta-reader" is spoiler free and still didn't watch the season 2 so she couldn't read it.**

**I wrote the story mixing the song "Just give me a reason" by Pink in between because I think it's just perfect for them so I used pieces of it to talk about different moments of Olitz's story.**

**Enjoy and review!**

_Right from the start you were a thief, you stole my heart and I your willing victim  
_

"Your marriage. It looks like you don't screw your wife, which would be fine, except family values matter to republicans. It's why they vote for who they vote for, and since Sally's got Jesus firmly on her side that just leaves family. Marriage. And yours, whatever the truth may be, from the outside it looks cold. Distant. Dead. Where is your wife by the way? People want to like who they're voting for. Voters thought Al Gore was a big stiff until he stuck his tongue down Tipper's throat. They put George W. in office because he and Laura seem like a fun couple to have a beer with. People have to want to invite you in for dinner, but right now you and your wife are standing in their doorway, three feet apart , not looking at each other, letting in the cold air. That's why you lost Iowa. It's why you'll lose New Hampshire."

"And you are?"

"Olivia… Pope"

And that was the exact moment when Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III lost himself. He utterly fell in love with that smart, brilliant young woman who was Olivia Pope and there was no hope left for him.

She was right about everything. His marriage was a farce, it had always been, especially during the campaign for the presidency but who knew where to look could find the truth without any effort and she was good, fucking good at her job, they couldn't fool her but they could try to fool American people with her help. No surprise that Cyrus sent him to apologize and asked her to stay…

_I would be lucky to have you_ those words were like a cold shower, the truth's shower which were making the air thick between them. She looked at him with her brown big eyes shocked by the truth which she didn't get before or she accurately avoided to do but in a certain way he just confessed and she couldn't ignore it anymore, that was the reason why he fired her. They simply agreed to come back to work as if that could erase or fix everything, but it couldn't, the fire between them just lighted up and it could only burn up more and more.

Fitz Grant, the man of people, the pure man, surrendered to love, the kind of one he had never felt before, not for his wife for sure, the one he saw reflect in Olivia's eyes in that hallway sharing 'a minute', a minute of silence, of unspoken words, of crazy love and lust, of hopes, of projects which would have never seen the light staying in a dark corner of their minds.

What kind of coward was he to marry Mellie and not wait for Olivia to show up? It felt like a burden on chest, like the biggest mistake he could have ever made which only their hands entwined seemed to soothe a bit. Skin to skin, the first touch, the first kiss, the first time they made love, all during a single night, the night of first times, the night of the beginning…

_I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty and with every touch you fixed them  
_

Olivia Pope felt guilty. She was the one who convinced Fitz to call his father and asked him to help with the campaign but she didn't expect that, she didn't expect to see Big Jerry, as they called him, mistreating his son in front of everybody, presuming to teach him how to behave, what to do or not to do and how to be unfair towards opponents; she didn't expect to be present during a tough and not much sarcastic exchange of opinions and see how much Fitz hated his father sip after sip of his scotch which it was supposed to help to swallow the bitterness.

At the end of the dinner Governor Grant was completely drunk and so reckless to stop the elevator doors and stepping in to ride with Olivia. He needed her, he needed her lips, her skin, he needed to forget what happened even it wasn't the right thing to do at that moment: it was late and he was drunk and sad. His breath smelled like alcohol, Olivia didn't want to happen that way, no it couldn't. She asked him to stop, she tried to push him away but he seemed unmovable, his mouth looking for hers, his hands on her body, it was happening all so fast, he wasn't her Fitz, the man she loved, scotch and pain were controlling him pushing him to behave in a way she'd have never imagined.

Suddenly the doors opened and Mellie appeared bringing them back to reality. He pulled out from her apologizing like any drunk and thoughtless man would have done and went away leaving Olivia with his wife dealing with the embarrassment and trying to fix the situation at the same time.

No matter what, she never loved him less for the parts of him, not all pretty, he showed her, never.

_Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh, things you never say to me oh oh, tell me that you've had enough of our love, our love  
_

Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III was the new the President of the United States. He made it thanks to American people and his staff, especially the new White House's spokesman Olivia Pope, his Olivia.

First weeks in the White House seemed to pass between ups and downs: the sex at Camp David, her tries to avoid him, their conversation in the hallway and in the roses garden, their place, where he confessed he was in love with her, he belongs to her and if he could escape to that circus he would run away with her.

His feeling were honest like his heart that he was giving her asking to take care, what he didn't know how things would have turned, how some words could change everything: fucking the President couldn't be considered a patriotic duty to Olivia Pope because she loved him for real and that was too much to handle, especially if it was his wife to suggest that.

Watching him made his first speech she took the hardest decision of her life. He was so terribly handsome and self-confident on the screen, the right man for America and she couldn't let their affair to dirty that, to ruin all the efforts they made to make him reach the position he finally had.

After that long day, when he came back from his speech, the President was tired but satisfied. He entered the Oval Office and smiled seeing the pin Olivia gave him first day on his desk but his expression changed as soon as he noticed a leaf and took it in his hand: the most important person of his life just left him leaving her resignation letter on his desk, no warnings, absolutely nothing.

The woman he loved more than everything, the woman who told him they were in that together in front of the Constitution, she… just left without a word. He felt his heart shattering in millions of pieces, his Livvie, the love of his life, how could that happen? What did he do to push her to do such thing? It wasn't happening for real, it couldn't. They were a team, they… there wasn't a "they" anymore and the pain seemed to spread to all the nerves of his body. It hurt unbearably.

What was he supposed to do? She didn't want him anymore? Has she ever loved him for real? He felt abandoned, unloved, unwanted and that was killing him slowly like the head of a knife which was plunging in his chest inch by inch, deep down in his heart.

He let himself fall in his chair looking at the letter defeated.

_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough, just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again. It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts, we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again _

"… and you're using old boyfriends to dig up secrets on the intelligence committee"

"I am not"

"Senator Davis was your boyfriend from 2002 to 2006, you lived together in Georgetown and New York, you had an engagement ring and you've seen with him yesterday looking really cozy from what I hear, you two are screwing again? Is he everything you've ever dreamed?"

"Stop walking!" Olivia yelled "Stop walking!"

How could he tell her such things? How could he hurt her like that? Those words hit her so hard she was fighting to hold back tears, how could he…? Who she was screwing was none of his business, not anymore!

He made her remove from home to drag her in the middle of a unknown wood just because he, the leader of free world, snapped his fingers.

Fitz turned around looking directly in her eyes: same pain, same broken heart. He let the rifle go coming closer and kissed her, a simple kiss followed by many others until Olivia found her back crushed against the tree and his lips devouring her neck, every inch of her skin he found. All the passion, the love, the hurt, rejections, misunderstandings and loneliness conveyed in those hurried gestures, because he couldn't think to stay without her, to simply live without her, she was his oxygen and he didn't know how he managed to do it all that time away from her. His hands slide to the hem of her trousers trying to… he pushed himself too far and she rejected him again.

Olivia hugged herself in her jacket feeling so little, so bad, a whore he could claim and fuck in the middle of a wood with his bodyguards a few miles away. How dare he?

"I am not yours! I don't show up places because you want me, I am not yours! This is over!"

Two broken hearts, a wood and two unaware witnesses. She was right, she wasn't his.

_I'm sorry I don't understand where all of this is coming from I thought that we were fine (Oh we had everything) your head is running wild again, my dear we still have everythin' and it's all in your mind (Yeah but this is happenin').  
_

"Eddison asked me to marry him, he gave me a ring"

"Livvie"

"I could quit. Go have some babies. Live in the country or something. Make jam."

"Make jam?"

"Have a normal life. Get some normal."

"I asked Mellie for a divorce. Listen to me. Whatever's wrong, we'll fix it. Don't say you're marrying Edison. Not yet. Just wait, ok? Whatever's wrong, we'll fix it. Just say you'll wait for me. Liv? Say you'll wait for me."

But she simply hung up the phone letting him there waiting for an answer that wouldn't have come. It was as if all the room's glasses broke and the cold air entered freezing his muscles, stopping his movements, he was petrified.

For a minute he imagined her say "yes I will" to Eddison Davis, to a man she didn't love, a man who could give her a normal life though, that normality she'd have never had with him, the President of the United States, a married man with three children, the "unavailable" as she defined him years before.

He imagined her walking down the aisle and giving herself away in a marriage without love, he imagined him making love to her and that thought drove him completely insane! Jealousy was eating him up boiling the blood in his veins… she couldn't, she didn't have to! Screw the life in the country, the jam or whatever! Olivia Pope was the woman of his life and she couldn't let her go, God only knew how much he tried but he got her under his skin, like an everlasting tattoo, like a peacemaker to keep his heart's pieces together.

Fitzgerald Grant wouldn't have quit, he wouldn't have quit to believe in them, in the amazing journey who would have been his life with Liv but the self-confidence he was used to show on screen seemed to crack, he wasn't sure she'd have waited for him. Would have she?

Two people, two lovers, different part of the city and a sleepless night spent thinking of each other, reflecting on past, present and future, on what they wanted and they were not willing to negotiate.

_You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh, you used to lie so close to me oh oh, there's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love, oh our love, our love._

No matter who much Olivia tried to prepare herself psychologically, seeing the man she loved at the end of the aisle after one year of silence took her breath away, just a glance between them and all the missing came back to surface.

James handed the little Ella to her godmother and godfather, Olivia and Fitz, their eyes just locked, a little creature in their hands, a black baby girl: how could they possibly avoid to think, to imagine...?

While the priest was christening Ella, she hoped there could be a kind of redemption for her sins too, she looked for it in his eyes – which seemed to mark her skin – but didn't find it as she expected.

After James's speech and a drink swallowed quickly, she decided it was time to leave so turning on her heels she headed towards the exit. Olivia sped up her pace knowing he was following her but it wasn't enough, he grabbed her arm, pushed her in the electric closet and kissed her fiercely. As soon as her back hit the wall she stopped his ministration slapping him in the face, the slap echoed in the space leaving Fitz shocked and speechless. They looked at each other breathing heavily, Olivia fighting internally about what to do or not to do and Fitz waiting for her verdict. A minute that lasted a life until she came back to his arms claiming his lips, a frantic kiss which became more heated, full of passion, of lust while he turned her pushing her back in his chest and grabbing her hip... He wanted her like never before, he wanted her to soothe the emptiness, the pain of Defiance, of his fake victory, of her betrayal because he trusted her, he did with his life and she used him and that simply broke him.

She unbuckled his belt while he pulled her panties off and entered her. It was slightly painful the way he slammed into her, he wasn't gentle, he was literally screwing her but she didn't have the strength to stop him, to tell him that his gestures hurt as much as his words. Maybe she deserved it because Defiance was too much to accept, but a part of her still hoped he could forgive her, because she was not perfect, only human and like all human made mistakes.

He tightened his grip at her hip and they reached the climax together. He pulled out abruptly without looking at her unzipping his pants, his hate was undeniable.

She cleared herself with an handkerchief wiping the latest traces of their licentious quickie away and they stepped out of the room.

"I made a mistake"

"We both did. It won't happen again"

"I was talking about Defiance"

"That wasn't a mistake, that was betrayal, we're done. I may not be able to control my erections around you but that does not mean I want you. We are… done"

No hope left, he'd have never forgiven her.

_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough, just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again. I'll never stop, you're still written in the scars on my heart, you're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again._

"Do you still love me? Do you? Still love me?"

"Does it matter?"

"It matters, do you still love me? It's a yes or no question"

Olivia hesitated

"Olivia…"  
"I do but I can't do this anymore"

"Wait, wait, just wait. Just wait one minute. This past year I've learned only one thing: I cannot exist without you, that I cannot breathe without you, that the man I am without you is… I'm nothing, I'm nothing and you are everything and I need you to give me another chance, I demand another chance, we're worth another chance"

Fitz knew she could sense his breath behind her, his desperation, his desire of her: it was all in that pause, in that silence which fell between them.

She turned around incapable of stopping that mind-blowing love she felt, and kissed him. It was like starting to breathe again, inhaling pure air, oxygen which brought him back to life, brought them back to life, like waking up after a year of numbness, of nothing, where he lived the life like a sleepwalking.

She kept telling him he hurt her and he kept apologizing without stopping to devour, hugging and touching each other, the passion, like a glue, kept them tie together in a grip full of grudge, rage, hate and love too powerful to fight. How could they resist to all of that? To all those bewildering feelings, good and bad, which made their story so important?

But suddenly Olivia broke the spell pushing him away. She couldn't, no she couldn't go on like that, after all he did to her she didn't believe him anymore, he broke her heart so many times she couldn't even count them but even worse, he used her making her feel like a whore, exactly what he used to reassure her she wasn't in the past. She was slowly trying to cure her wounds when he did that again: he made her follow, watch and worse fuck from one of his 'dear' friends but she was sure he didn't know about that little detail, how could he? He would have never let that happen jealous and possessive like he was but it didn't matter anymore. She accused him that what he did was not love and he accused her that what she did was just control: that was what it left of them, accusations and inability of forgive.

Last thing she saw was the hurt look on his face before shutting the door.

_Oh tear ducts and rust, I'll fix it for us, we're collecting dust but our love's enough, you're holding it, you're pouring a drink, no nothing is as bad as it seems, we'll come clean _

Another glass of scotch and the memories of that night… _You were all I had, you ruined me, I'm ruined. _

Just another late night phone call but yet it was different: she didn't expect to hear him, he didn't expect to call her to talk about Defiance. She already told him she made a mistake, he didn't believe her… dead-center. Fitz could hear her gasp and sigh, the tears in her voice, he could feel her sufferance, he was ruined and she was too but he didn't care; it wasn't true but he said to hurt her again as if making her suffer could just placate the hell he was living since he found out about the gerrymandering.

He kept sipping his scotch, exactly what he had done for the last year, drowning himself in the alcohol as it was the solution which he knew it was only one, Olivia: the sickness and the cure.

He hadn't slept, he hadn't lived, he hadn't stopped thinking of her just a single moment so he had drunk again and again, glass after glass of that amber - colored liquid burning his throat wondering what he had done to deserve all that misery, what he had done to deserve such betrayal.

He wasn't happy, she wasn't happy, always the same story: same characters, same dynamics, same pain.

When she hung up felt like she was closing with him again… as if it was possible to create a new word to say they were done.

He brought the glass to the mouth and swallowed. No peace for the President of the United States.

_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough, just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again. It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts, we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again _

"You can't fix the fact that I love you, that I love you more than I love being President. have told you that I'd give it all up for you again and again, and you know what I think? i think you don't believe me. I think you believe that I will never choose you. Well, this time, I'm fixing things. We're gonna sit here for the next… 21 minutes, we're gonna sit here and the clock on my marriage is going to run out, we're going to run it out together, you're gonna watch me run out this clock. You're gonna sit here with me and watch me choose you"

"You wouldn't"

"I would, I will, I am going to. Sit with me, sit with me Liv, sit with me and let's run out the clock, sit with me and watch me choose you, watch me earn you"

His latest words, _watch me earn you_, resounded in the room. He was doing what she asked him, he was trying to prove her that she wanted her, she chose her, that being the President of the United States meant nothing compared to a life with her, a life where he'd have been free to love her and not to keep up a farce for Americans' pleasure. And Fitz knew she didn't believe him, because no man would have left his wife – in that case the First Lady the nation loved and who gave him a child during the mandate – for his mistress; men simply screwed their mistresses, they didn't marry them as he stupidly made her notice at Verna's funeral breaking her heart.

The clock was running out and he didn't care at all sitting on the couch and watching her, her small figure cuddled up in the easy chair and he knew she was aching, he could read it in her eyes, how much he must had hurt her to deserve that lost and suffering look…

The silence between them was so thick he could hear the tics of the clock, the hand moving, each second passing and it was like a countdown of a prisoner, a countdown to go out of a black tunnel and see the light again, rid of a burden and finally breathe freely.

Perhaps someone else in his shoes would have been scared as hell for what he was going to face but he wasn't, he had dreamt of that moment for so long, he was more than ready but was she? The brave Olivia Pope, the Gladiator who never gave up and fought until the end earning the victory, was she ready to deal with the media circus which Mellie's declarations would have caused? He kept staring at her looking for the answer, what if she didn't want him anymore? What if it was too late?

"Time's up, it's done." He paused leaning forward "Unless you don't want me…"

Olivia's features mirrored her inner conflict, her contrasting emotions, she brought her entwined hands to the lips making a decision, it was now or never. She stood up cutting the distance from him and kissed him, her Fitz, her great love, he did choose her no matter what, no matter the scandal, the end of his political career, he chose her over everything and that kiss tasted completely different, it wasn't a stolen kiss in a closet or in an empty hallway, it was a promise, a beginning, they were going to be together for real, it wasn't a fantasy, it wasn't theory anymore. He was her one and only and he was going to be hers.

"Hi…"

"Hi…"

Yes, they weren't broken just bent and they could learn to love again.


End file.
